What do you do when your carefully crafted plans fall apart? What’s your plan for when plans unravel?
No matter how well we prepare for the new school year, the reality is that eventually reality sets in. Checklists get erased, books get misplaced, pencils break. And then on another level, someone feels sick, a phone call interrupts that must be taken, the baby gets fussy right when read aloud time starts; and suddenly all our beautiful plans seem for naught!
Often we think we want control. We want to plan and we want life to follow our plan, and we find it unnerving when it doesn’t. But as CS Lewis taught, that is life!
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day.”
What if what we really want is order? Isn’t order more godly than control? If we can change our minds and recognize that what we really need is order, will that help us when life requires flexibility?
Here are some ideas that help me maintain a semblance of order on Those Days.
Prioritize
What really matters? Is it the math workbook pages being done, or the concept being understood? Would a game work instead? Is it the content or skills of their reading assignment that matters? Could an audio book work today? When we know what really matters sometimes there are ways to temporarily simplify but still accomplish what’s important to us. Often the most important thing for me, when chaos intrudes, is consistency. I don’t want to lose our momentum so I need a place holder just so school is still happening.
Margin
In the planning stages we can save ourselves some heartache by planning some margin right into our day. Sure, the spelling lesson should ideally take 10 minutes, but adding some margin on both ends will lessen the stress when an emergency diaper change needs to happen right then.
Independent work
Hopefully as our children mature we’re weaning them from our constant help, and leading them to be more independent. Plan B can include independent work that both we and our children know can be done without our help. “If an emergency arises, go do your copywork (or reading, or piano practice)” can be a standing rule.
Nature study
The outdoors often comes to my rescue in so many ways, and especially on a day of disorder. You can read whole bookshelves of books on the benefits of outside time, so realize you may actually doing the best thing possible for your children to have them put down the books and go outside. Have them search for nature treasures and call it nature study if it needs a formal name. And hopefully you can join them. Going outside just might help resolve your dilemma as well!
Make a plan for order, and when you can’t have control, hopefully you can still maintain and accomplish what really matters and brings peace.
